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Nov 12, 2008 10:00 pm US/Central
Ways To Drop Hints On Your Partner's Shortcomings
(CBS 11 News)
Ladies, if there was one thing you could change about your man, what would it be? Want them to cook dinner, do the dishes... maybe spend some time away from the television? Dropping some gentle hints about his shortcomings could go a long way to improving your relationship.
Everyone has pet peeves about their significant other. For most, getting them man to change their behavior is often the hard part. A new book, by author Darcy Frew, aims to help women improve their relationships by pointing out changes in behavior they'd like their man to make.
The book is called "Please Put the Toilet Seat Down and 49 other Cluetoons to Help Him Improve Your Relationship."
Frew says she spent years studying relationships; including what works and what doesn't. According to Frew, "These are really common issues in relationships that most couples face and that can be fixed easily."
In the book, Frew identified 50 pet peeves that drive women crazy. Each one is illustrated using a humorous example of the offending behavior. "When he sees it, he laughs at it, he recognizes his own behavior," the author said with amusement.
And hopefully, Frew says, the man changes that particular behavior. Several cartoons in her book focus on helping around the house. On the other side of the page, Frew makes a gentle suggestion on how to help.
One cluetoon focuses on cleaning the dishes. "It only takes five minutes to put a dish in the dishwasher and by doing so she might show you greater appreciation by making you better dinners," Frew explained.
Every change, in behavior illustrated by Frew, has a payoff for the man. "If he does something to help, then she's probably going to have extra time and extra energy to do something that he would appreciate."
There are even sections on hygiene, or lack of it, bathroom manners and intimacy.
Michelle Deleon has been in a relationship for four years. "I think a lot of the things in here are what you go through on a day-to-day basis just with men, and life and relationships in general," she said.
Deleon said she can relate to one illustration - where the man is paying more attention to the dog than to his human best friend. "That's how it is with me. My dog gets more attention than me," she said of her current relationship.
Jeanette Dore says her husband of 47 years, Larry, is romantic and pretty good at cleaning. "I really have him pretty well trained," Dore said laughing. But even Larry admits he can still change a few things... like his tendency to watch too many sports. "I'm still trying to get her interested in football, so I can watch what I want all the time," he said.
Beth Larson has been married for five years and says it's important to speak up even though it might be an uncomfortable conversation. "Well I think as a woman, we have to tell them what we want. So maybe it's a communication thing."
Better communication is exactly what author Darcy Frew wants for couples. She says women who've given the book to their men have noticed an immediate change. Readers have told her things like - "He's been a lot nicer to me. He's volunteered to watch the children. He did the dishes. He actually folded the laundry."
Frew recommends that women not be excluded from financial decisions and that couple's set aside some money every month so she can buy something special. It's an investment Frew says could pay happy returns.
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