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Oct 7, 2008 8:58 pm US/Central
Are You Too Picky Or Not Picky Enough?
Deanna Frazier, Attraction Expert
Are you too picky or not picky enough when it comes to finding love?
If you have been in one or more relationships and are now single again, or have never been in a relationship, you may find yourself at one of the two extremes of pickiness.
You can become extremely picky to try to protect yourself from hurt. Or, not having been in a relationship, you can be so desperate for a relationship that being with any person seems much better than nothing.
Becoming less or more picky than you currently are about whom you date may improve your chances of finding true love – for the first time or again. Read below to see how you can adjust your pickiness level.
You are too picky if:
1. You have no problem getting dates, but everyone you date has something about him or her that turns you off.
2. You have very specific ideas about who your partner needs to be: a particular religion, income level, profession, very similar interests, etc.
3. You need a person to prove himself or herself to you over and over again, before you consider opening up to him or her.
4. You need a partner to never let you down.
5. You have a particular style or type of person you like and will only date this kind of person.
If you identify more with being too picky, when you let someone in, you do not let them in deeply for fear they will not be good enough. Because of this, you tend to end up alone.
You are not picky enough if:
1. You are willing to date anyone fairly decent, whether they are a good match for you or not.
2. You don't want much from a partner: a sense of humor, a job, and being attracted to the person is good enough.
3. You get into relationships quickly.
4. You will accept lots of imperfections in your partner.
5. You date people whether or not you are attracted to them.
If you identify more with not being picky enough, you mostly end up with people who aren't a very good match for you. You're also likely to spend most of your time out of a relationship and
sad about it.
Want to end up in a relationship rather than ending up alone? Here some guidelines for what you should and should not be picky about:
Here's what you should be picky about:
1. Qualities that will matter in the long run: a similar value system, communication style, and level of integrity.
2. Your partner should have the same family goals as you, such as having children or not, getting married or not, etc.
3. Choosing a kind and gentle person who cares about people's emotions.
4. Choosing a person who has no exes lurking around hoping to reignite the relationship.
5. The person you choose should have a job or even a career, and have his or her life and finances in order, or at least be working on it.
6. The person should be someone you enjoy looking at, someone you find attractive.
You don't have to be picky about the following:
1. The person's profession.
2. How much the person earns.
3. Exactly how the person looks.
4. The person's past, as long as it has been worked through and put to rest.
If you're too picky or not picky enough you can still end up alone. A better idea is to have a balance of what you are picky about and what you are not picky about in order to attract a balanced person and to create a compatible, satisfying, happy relationship.
HAPPY DATING!! For more Dating tips contact Dee at
Dee@DeannaFrazier.com or visit
DeannaFrazier.com.
Call Dee the Dating Diva 972-248-9084.
(© MMIX, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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