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Nov 6, 2008 10:00 pm US/Central
Collaborative Divorce Eases Stress On Couples
(CBS 11 News)
After 23 years of marriage Diane Settles faced a devastating reality. Her husband wanted a divorce.
"He wasn't comfortable in a marriage where there wasn't a connection between husband and wife," Settles said.
As a stay-at-home mom with four sons, the idea of a long, expensive legal battle was overwhelming.
"Most importantly it was the children. How it would affect the children? The toughest part was to see their father move out of town."
Settles and her husband both agreed to participate in collaborative divorce proceedings, instead of conventional courtroom litigation.
Janet Denton is a Tarrant County attorney who represented Settles.
During this process, the husband, wife and their attorneys work together -- in private -- to find a way to meet each individual's needs.
"The process is so structured," Denton explained. "It allows folks to get through and get to the same place so they can make decisions together. It provides an environment where everyone is really motivated to be on their best behavior at a time when it's sometimes hard to be on your best behavior because you're so emotional."
Each party sets their own goals.
Financial documents are shared, so each side knows where they stand with regard to income, retirement accounts and mortgage payments. Then, a neutral financial specialist reviews the details.
The Step 3 is where the options come into play.
The team always includes a mental health provider who helps facilitate communication. In Settles' case, a child psychologist also was brought in to help develop a co-parenting plan for the couple's children.
"He (the child psychologist) set guidelines and standards down, and helped us understand what the court would have expected versus what we had the opportunity to choose."
Denton said choice is one of the key advantages to the collaborative process. The couple has much more control in their family's fate and their finances -- as opposed to involving the courts.
A typical collaborative case might take four months to settle where a family could spent up to 17 months in the court system.
Proponents agree that less time equals less money spent on attorney fees.
Settles believes collaborative divorce benefitted her and her children.
"The process was way more than I expected and I'm just glad it was out there for me to take advantage of."
CBS 11 invited her ex-husband to be part of this story, but he declined.
As many as 20 percent of couples who begin the collaborative process, actually end up reconciling and getting back together, Denton concluded.
Click
here to learn more about
The Collaborative Law Institute of Texas and the process.
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