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Apr 16, 2009 10:45 am US/Central
Review: Nintendo's "Rhythm" Deals Beat Down
By Phil Stauskas
FORT WORTH (CBS 11 / TXA 21) ―
After several years of toe-tapping with the tunes on my iPod, singing in the privacy of my car and tearing it up on my plastic "Guitar Hero" axe, I felt as though I was rather coordinated. I could totally be a rock star, if I wanted to. Maybe even the next "American Idol" winner. I simply chose to go another route in life.
Yeah. Sure.
So, when "Rhythm Heaven" for the Nintendo DS landed on my desk, I was honestly not expecting much of a challenge. Tap and swipe the stylus on the touch screen in rhythm to a beat. No notes to hit on time, no score, no 'Star Power' and no crazy accessory like a drum kit or maracas.
It sounds simple. But the game quickly schooled me on a very important lesson. Something that I should have known all along, and certainly something that I'll want to know before I step out on stage in front of Randy, Paula and Simon (and Kara).
I apparently have zero rhythm.
Don't be fooled. "Rhythm Heaven" is not a music game like the popular "Rock Band" or even Nintendo's own "Elite Beat Agents" for the Nintendo DS. It does not matter how musically-skilled you are. "Rhythm Heaven" seeks to find patterns in more mundane tasks like hitting a ping pong ball, building things along a factory line or adding fuel to a robot.
There are only two simple gestures used to control the action: tapping on the touch screen and swiping your stylus along the touch screen. "Rhythm Heaven" is so basic that the touch screen rarely shows anything but a blank, solid color. The other screen shows animations, but theoretically, since the game is based on finding and coordinating with a rhythm, you could play with your eyes closed and do just as well.
Since I struggled to find the game's rhythm, "Rhythm Heaven" felt the need to mock me. Repeatedly.
"You are as good as a dinner made entirely of garnish."
"You surf like you've never even seen water before."
"Sometimes, being OK is good enough."
At first, my uncoordinated mishaps were amusing. But as I continued, it became evident that there was no pleasing this game. Even when I performed well, "Rhythm Heaven" deemed my efforts "Just OK" and told me to try harder. And the harder I tried, the worse I performed… and the more I was mocked.
Now, I can't fault a video game simply because I'm not good at it. But, between its frustrating concept of what constitutes rhythm and its absurd level of expectations, I can say with full certainty that "Rhythm Heaven" can only be played (tolerated?) in short bursts. It's a fun game to tinker with, but that fun does not last long before the game's negative attitude starts to rub off.
Extremely quirky and heavily-influenced by Japanese culture, "Rhythm Heaven" does manage to find its own offbeat style. It's visually refreshing and another fine addition to the growing list of strange games for the Nintendo DS. Unfortunately, in terms of gameplay, "Rhythm Heaven" can't live up to the bar set by its spiritual cousin, the "WarioWare" franchise started by Nintendo years ago on the Game Boy Advance.
Plus, jamming on a plastic guitar and pretending that I'm a rock star is way better than being insulted by a video game.
(© MMIX, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.)
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